These are two of mannnyyyyy ridiculous navigations in talent VS. rep management.
Example number one, I was the talent producer for my first of several events with Jerry Seinfeld. For this job, there was a stage crew as well as a television crew.
His rider list were the usual things that a person will never use or eat, like the blender request when there was nothing on the rider to blend into anything. I do recall he specifically wanted carrots, but not baby carrots. Full carrots that are cut into wedges. I don’t blame him on this one. Baby carrots sit in bags of water, lose all taste and get mushy.
On this particular occasion, Seinfeld’s “event agent rep” (as opposed to touring, film or television agents) would be onsite before Jerry’s arrival during which time he would survey the green room and the stage. We would then walk and re-walk the route from the car … to the dressing room … to the stage … to the dressing room … to the car.
The only part of this I was excited for was that Jerry’s manager, the iconic, George Shapiro, would also be there.
George was an absolute doll. I LOVED him. And when he said, “Call me George,” I was team Shapiro forever.
The agent on the other hand was a standard douche bag. Clearly working out his ego issues of not being a real show business agent, by making a meal out of his corporate booking with a celebrity. He was pompous and generally uneducated on production navigation. I referred to him privately as “GA.” Generic Agent.
Bringing George and GA to the stage, we reviewed the lighting, the LED wall graphics and a few other items when GA took over, and asked EVERYONE to come to the stage for him to address the crew. It was unusual. Generally, I address/brief the teams via headset (“coms”) as the single source of communication with the client or talent.
GA had the most serious demeanor. We were expecting to be briefed on some unique needs for Jerry regarding security or music or stage effects. In fact, it was a 10-minute review of how and when a glass of water should be put on the stool. You might be thinking, “How hard could that be?” And we were thinking the same thing. Two minutes before we start, you put the water on the stool (any earlier and things can fly into the water, etc.). But GA walked on and off stage performing the action to a production team that has worked with Presidents to Broadway shows.
Additionally, this had nothing to do with the broadcast team. They still had a lot of work to do before showtime and were more than annoyed having to stand there watching this guy jerk himself off.
Finally, after the glass-down motion was made again for absolute clarity, GA said, “And now Jerry’s name comes up on the screen … Now. It comes up now. Let’s see it!” My graphics operator pipes up, “I’d love to but I was called down here to look at a glass on a stool.”
So proud, we hired the operator back many times thereafter.
Example number two was directing an award show with numerous performers and presenters at the Dolby Theater (home of the Oscars).
The last 48 hours of preproduction were stressful due to a lighting board that crashed three times. I was working with the lighting designer on rebuilding the show cues almost until doors opened.
I had an irate Rita Wilson (the third time I had worked with her having similar dynamics), who was screaming at the stage manager about her dressing room. She was also unhappy that I would let her do only two of her requested four original songs because as I told her agent, “This is not the Rita Wilson Cabaret show, she is a guest of this production.”
I had composer Charles Fox ignoring every piece of direction given to him making the show run long.
And leading up to a segment were Robert Deniro and Bradley Cooper honoring a doctor who saves children when Bradley’s publicist came to my director’s booth yelling that we need to speed things up because “Bradley has a PR event to go to.”
In between calling show cues, I turned to her, burrowed into her eyes and said, “If Bradley would like to go up to the doctor who saves children to tell him this is taking too long and he has to go to a party, go ahead. Otherwise, get the fuck away from my booth.”
I am CERTAIN this was the publicist, not the talent.